I knew I should’ve gone in with a game plan. And I didn’t. So, it seemed like the whole weekend was kind of like me twiddling my thumbs in my head.

You see . . . for the next thirteen weekends, I’m working nine of them. Photographers have strange hours. And typically, I work seven days a week. I feel like I’m always on call in a sort of way–have to do this quick thing for one client, answer a quick question for another, post a few images to someone’s gallery, crop an image a certain way for someone, etc. These are all important things of course, but I find that frequently, even when I’m done “working” for the day, I’m doing these little things here and there. While the water is boiling for pasta. Or while I wait for my Keurig to be ready to brew. And then add weddings and sessions to my weekends, and I end up cranky sometimes, when I don’t get time off. Of course, I’m my own boss, so it’s my own fault. It’s a bit of a catch 22.

So I did something I rarely do. I put a gigantic OFF on June 7th, June 8th, June 14th and June 15th. I didn’t have any weddings scheduled, and I told myself that I was going to book NO sessions on these four days. Then it’s six straight weekends of weddings and sessions. And what I found was that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have free time. Literally. It was bizarre to me, and completely overwhelming at the same time. I literally didn’t know what to do with myself, because I was all like oh my goodness, I have this free time what on earth can I do? I want to do a project! Take the kids garage saleing! Go the the park! Read a book! Fix the backyard completely and build a patio and pergola and string lights across everything! Play baseball in the front yard! Go to the market! Go to a friends’ house! Paint the house! Make something pretty from pinterest! Reorganize the toy room!

But without a game plan, and without a clear idea of what I was going to do, I really didn’t end up doing much. And that’s okay . . . but I have to remind myself that it is. I don’t need to check one hundred things off of a to do list to feel like I had a great weekends. It’s just so strange that my mind thinks that way.

We certainly did do some fun things. . . I did take Brayden and Carter to a few garage sales, and while we didn’t find a ton of stuff, we scored huge with some baseball things for him. And we did play out in the front yard. Let the boys play with water. Go to a friends’ house to enjoy the beautiful weather, eat dinner and have a fire. We did get some yard work done (though our pool is still neon green). And we did hang out, spend some time with each other and enjoy a relaxing schedule which is not very common for our house. But still, I felt like I could’ve been much more productive.

Perhaps next weekend I will have just a couple of small projects planned ahead of time. . . because checking things off a list, even if it’s just one or two things, always feels nice.