We go from smiling to crying very quickly in our household nowadays.  If you are an avid reader of my blog, and came across this post just last month, you’ll know that we no longer have Prince Charming on our hands.  Carter is a bit less laid back than he used to be.  And the little man nearly never whines or cries when he’s bored or doesn’t want to be doing what he’s doing.  Nope.  The little peanut screams with all the fury his wee body can muster up.  Truly an interesting tactic.  Brayden can often be found covering his ears these days.  

 The hardest part of the Balance Act for me is finding any time at all to do a few things that I enjoy.  By myself.  For me.  Even now I am torn with guilt, as I have half of a wedding to still edit and an entire engagement shoot.  But for once, for the first time in awhile, I have chosen to postpone that for just a bit. The kids are in bed, and I decided to unwind for a few minutes before diving head first into another night of staring at my gigantic computer screen.  Making the hours of the evening fly by at a dizzying pace while I do my editing, catch up with client correspondence, tie up some loose ends on a couple of shoots and get my to do list ready for tomorrow.

I’d say the weight is heavy on the side of working.  Greatly lacking in the personal area.  But as a stay-at-home mom with a self-employed business, I’m pretty sure that’s how it will always be.

The Balance Act is tough.  And I hope someday to figure it out with a little more fluidity than my current dance of chaos.  But for now, just watch me zig-zag ungracefully.  Continuing to do three things at a time, with my mind on the next three things.  Always ready and on the prowl.  And prepared for a shift in any area.


I am flexible.  I am strong.  Hear me roar.  I will succeed.

And someday in my dreams, I will feel comfortable with our daily going-ons.  I will know what to expect, will know what’s for dinner for the next five days, and laundry will go from the dirty pile, through the washer and dryer and back into drawers again in two hours flat.  I will be skinny and smile to everyone that passes by.  People will know that I have it all together.  

And that will be about when baby number three comes along and throws the balance all out of whack again.  


Let the chaos reside.