Hearts are like rubber bands.  I remember my friend Sarah saying this to me one time, after she had her second daughter.  She said that she didn’t know she could love a child more than she loved her first one.  And then along came the second, growing their family to four, and her heart grew right along with it.  Pushing out and stretching to make room for the second little blessing that entered their lives.  A few years later, and they have two other children to go along with the first, and you can tell that her heart just never stopped stretching.  With each child, the rubber band went further and further, tucking everyone in nicely.

And so it is for me.

When I learned we would be having a third boy, I was disappointed. Everyone who knew me knew that I really wanted a girl.  But alas–another boy would be entering our lives.  I didn’t know what that would be like.  If the novelty would be old with another boy because I was dreaming of a little girl who’s hair to put barrettes in.  Pink outfits.  Stripped leggings.  Ruffle bums.  Tea parties and baby dolls and princesses.

But then I look at this face everyday.  And I think, how could my life have ever been complete without him?  With his perfect little baby boy sneezes and his chatty babbly stories.  And his perfect smile.  And his little shaky chin and balled up fists and hairy ears and peach fuzzy head.

My rubber band heart has not disappointed.  He may not be the little girl that I wanted.  But a girl must not have been what I needed.  I needed a little Sawyer.  And a Sawyer is what I  got.

Nice and snug and rubber banded into my heart.