How is this going to change you? I just don’t want to continue going through life the same, thinking that I’m not changed by this in some way. 

These words were spoken to me last night by my husband. He’s super good at asking leading questions like this. And I am super good at not having answers for them.

He was, of course, speaking about Ben. Ben Sauer. The one who suffers no longer–who now has witnessed the full glory of Heaven. The one who has touched so many lives.

Ben passed away on Tuesday evening, after losing his battle with cancer. He was five years and one week old. FIVE.

A little boy should not ever have to suffer like that. Parents should not ever have to watch their child die decades too soon. A twin should not be left without his other half. And yet . . . He is no longer with us.

So, that leaves the question, HOW WILL IT CHANGE YOU? 

Certainly, this little boy was not taken away from this Earth so early in his life for no reason. We grasp desperately for answers to our questions. Why? and I don’t understand, GOD, why you would do this to someone so young and innocent! And if everything happens for a reason then please, please, PLEASE reveal the reason because I certainly don’t see it! And why would you do this to a family so undeserving? A family who trusts in you, puts their faith in you, and believes in your Goodness? 

Those are only a few of my questions. And I know they will remain unanswered. I have to trust that there is a reason somewhere for his suffering. For his sickness and the pain. For what Mindy and Andy had to go through. For them to watch their perfectly healthy twin son go from completely self-sufficient to not being able to walk or talk.

And while I don’t understand. And I cry heaving sobs, hidden in the hallway away from the other moms in my mom’s group, the question remains. How Will It Change You? 

Have you been reading Mindy’s blog and been completely blown away by her rawness? Her unhindered declarations that God is in completely control, and that he still loves her son Benjamin for making him go through this?

Have you been praying for this little boy, with all that you have, even though maybe you haven’t uttered a prayer in years?

Have you decided to make the most of every day with your own children knowing that, just like Ben, they are ultimately not ours to keep?

Just like my husband said, it would be a shame to think that we aren’t changed by this in some way. So, please. Be changed.

Seek God when you’re lost. Pray for everything. Thank God for people in this world like Mindy, who praises Him through the storm. Don’t take your children for granted. Be filled with joy. Keep sight of your blessings and count them one by one. Bless somebody with a gift, a meal, a small gesture. Be a friend. Be a better mom. Be a better dad. Be thankful in the hope of Heaven.

Just don’t sit like a lump on this earth. Be changed. 

I had the complete honor to go to the Sauer’s home in early March to take some photos of them just hanging out. I took video as well. Andy was running a few errands, so I hung out with Mindy and chatted with her while we took some casual pictures. Ben was a few weeks past his surgery. He was still a little bit peppy, though he got pretty tired after a little bit. I am thankful that they allowed me to gift them with this day. Mindy is a good photographer herself, so I’m thankful that she has many beautiful images of Benjamin when was healthy and full of life. But this little piece of this one day will help them remember Ben before he was too sick.  When you could still see his dimple. His long, perfect eyelashes. When he still was laughing, and being silly. The video clips will help remind them what his giggle sounded like. How he looked when he blew bubbles, and the gigantic smile that lit up his face.

There is nothing about death that is easy. And there is nothing like hope to join together so many people.

So, to the hundreds of thousands of people following Ben’s story, Be Changed. Don’t just go about tomorrow like it’s any other day.

To see sweet little Ben in action, here’s a video of some of my favorites from our few hours together. Click the link to take you to the video.