This week I really struggled with something.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal.  But it was a big deal to me.  The past two years I have traveled to Las Vegas for the largest photography conference in the nation.  It was life changing.  I left both years full of motivation and ideas and a new love for photography.  It was four jam packed days of amazing.

And this year I couldn’t go.  I had to appear in court as a witness during a trial.  So, I couldn’t make any travel plans.  A few weeks ago, it was announced that the trial would be moved, and on Monday, the new date was set.  But, by that point, it was already too late to plan anything.  I struggled on Saturday, that I wasn’t on a flight, on my way to Las Vegas–remembering back to my excitement and anticipation of the past two years.  Sitting at the airport.  Ready for an adventure.  Ready to be filled to the brim with information from the best photographers in the country.  And ready to walk through vast rooms filled with products and innovations and beautiful photography things.  I struggled on Sunday, when all the classes were starting.  Remembering back to the past two years when I took four two-hour classes on that first day and couldn’t believe that I was going to get to do it for three more days.  I struggled on Monday, when I kept seeing all these images pop up on facebook and instagram of all the photographer friends that I have who were there–and I was a million miles away, missing out on all that knowledge and that experience that I couldn’t get enough of.  And I struggled on Tuesday and Wednesday–15,000 photographers were doing what I so badly wanted to be doing.  And feeling like you are missing out on something that you know you are truly missing out on, is a hard pill to swallow.  There is just something about an adventure like that.  About traveling to an unknown place, about the anticipation of amazing things to come, about getting more educated on all things related to your career and running a photography business.  And obviously, today, I am still struggling.  I would’ve been home most likely early this morning–ready to hug my boys and spill all the new things that I had bouncing around in my brain to James, who would’ve hugged me incredibly tight and told me that he missed me so much.  And today, during nap time, I would be busy scribbling out my ideas that I wanted to try out and implement and change.

I’m sure I will be returning in the next years.  And at some point, I want to bring James too–he would absolutely love it as well.  So here’s to the future–and the hope that the experience will happen again, at some point, when the Lord allows it to work out.

The above pictures were taken at a carnival at Brayden’s school last week.  I brought along the camera, so thank goodness James remembered to snap a few pictures with it!  He took all of them, except for the one of him.